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72 Uses for Snails

  1. Boot laces (NOT shoelaces)
  2. Races
  3. Races where the winner is the slowest
  4. Slime trap refurbishing
  5. Seeing around walls but kind of like secondhand
  6. For tracing spirals, although we don't condone tracing
  7. Farm
  8. Escargot
  9. Moral support (Snail morals may vary)
  10. Delivery service
  11. Petting
  12. Flavoring butter
  13. Life insurance consultation
  14. Heavy lifting
  15. Vegetarian hotdogs substitute (Substitute vegetarian hotdogs to make it non-vegetarian)
  16. One lil trick for perfect ab glistening (According to Aaron)
  17. As a team, snail sledding
  18. Storage (Must get snail's consent)
  19. Nose hair removal
  20. Ear hair removal
  21. Eye hair removal
  22. Taste tester (For mosses and lichens)
  23. Chalk creation
  24. Mixology
  25. Phrenology
  26. Phlebotomy
  27. Paranormal psychology
  28. Cryptology
  29. Ethnomusicology
  30. Learning to appreciate the little things in life, that are also snails
  31. Root canal
  32. Tiny violin playing
  33. Anime review
  34. Pleasant rhyme duo with whales, quails, reverse martingales
  35. Small claims law
  36. Notary public
  37. Sales coaching
  38. Exam proctor
  39. Lab assistant
  40. Dance instructor
  41. Cherry picking (Advanced)
  42. House (Sometimes)
  43. Money laundering
  44. Money laundering but it makes the money more dirty
  45. Clothes laundering
  46. PH tester
  47. Demolitions expert
  48. Slimy dealings
  49. Cabbage destruction team
  50. Recipient of tiny hats, if for some reason you have a significant number of unwanted tiny hats in your possession
  51. Maze solver
  52. Juggling
  53. Dowsing
  54. Monoatomic gold espouser
  55. Land surveyor
  56. A friend, when you need it the most (Close proximity to a snail)
  57. Friend inside me
  58. Field research
  59. Dirt finder
  60. Dirt reviewer
  61. Making a small house out of an apple
  62. Pin resetter (Peg game)
  63. Unreliable pinball
  64. Conversation piece
  65. Armor
  66. Pachinko cheat
  67. Mobile fridge magnet
  68. Spreading malicious gossip
  69. Adhesive
  70. Bandage
  71. We lied. There are only 71
  72. Shoelaces